From time to time I come across amusing incidents, and have decided to report them here. I hope that readers of the newsletter will contribute to this section. Also, I could use a better title.

The requirements for admission are:

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A good many years ago I carpooled with one other person in Washington, D.C. If we were running late, which was sometimes the case, the passenger would be left off by the building entrance and the driver would then look for a parking space.

One day as we came out of the building together, I stopped and surveyed the many acres of parked cars. My companion smiled:

"Forgot where you parked, eh?"

"You drove today"

"Oh my God!"

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This next story, one that I heard, I consider to be of doubtful authenticity (apocryphal). However, I request an exception here because of its delightful eccentricity.

One of the 20th century's most famous mathematicians, addressing a class, stated at one point "The proof of this theorem is obvious". He paused for a moment, told the students to wait there, and left the classroom. Some ten minutes later he returned and announced:

"Yes, it is obvious".

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I don't know if this story is true, but it certainly could be. When I studied sociology in college, the works of Pitirim A. Sorokin had a substantial presence on the list of required readings. A person of prodigious knowledge, he had created the department of sociology at Harvard. In his major writings Sorokin held that western society was facing the greatest crisis in its history. The body and mind of its culture was sick. The disintegration of the Euro-American cultural system and way of life was inevitable. "…heart-rending horrors" were just ahead.

A student said to him one day: "Professor Sorokin, can you not find it in your heart to say something cheerful, something optimistic?" Sorokin replied:

"Why yes, I can. Things are better now than they are going to be"

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This story is true. It was told to me by a co-worker, back in the late 1950's, who had come to this country from the Netherlands.

Some years previously, his brother who lived in that country was driving around when he saw that he had unaccountably gotten into a circus parade. (This can happen. I recall a New Yorker item about a driver in New York City who suddenly noticed that he was driving in a presidential motorcade).

At one point the circus parade stopped, and an elephant behind this driver stepped on the back of the car and pushed the trunk in. The circus owner rushed over with apologies. The man was driving a small green car. The elephant had been trained to step up on a green stool. Full payment would be made for the damages.

That being settled, he drove away. Later that day he was involved in a chain collision, but through skill and luck avoided being hit. Cars were strewn all over the road and grass, as ambulances and police cars rushed to the scene. The police went around to each car to determine the nature of injuries and damage. Coming to this particular car, the policeman was told that by the driver that luckily he had not been involved in the accident.

"But the back of your car. It's all smashed in!"

"Oh, that. An elephant stepped on it".

(We can imagine the policeman's response).

NOT-SO-GENTLE HUMOR

I came across many humorous events during my varied work experiences. Everyone can do the same. So I will try just one of them here, to find out if there is any interest in this type of humor.

There was a particular president of IBM, during my twenty-five years with that company, who was widely feared. His very tall, imposing figure, and his impatient, caustic manner, as I heard, intimidated almost all who reported to him.

An acquaintance of mine, with a casual attitude towards upper management, occasionally visited the floor where the president and the top executives had their offices. One day he approached the top man's secretary and asked her:
"Do you lay for ________?

"Sure", she quickly replied. "Doesn't everyone on the floor?"

THINKING ABOUT AUTHORITY

Another person, whom I knew, once made a presentation to him. (In those days we used flipcharts). At one point the chief, in a spasm of anger, tore the page off the chart and threw it on the floor. The employee got down on the floor with it and said "If you prefer that I read it from here…" The president apologized to him

There was an example of courage, and in the days of white shirts! What are the particular characteristics of employees who demonstrate integrity, while so many others, in quiet desperation, swallow all the crap that's thrown at them?

This reminds me of another story that I heard. I do not know if it is true, but I do know that it has analogues that are true.

It involved T.J. Watson, who one day asked the VP of Personnel (or whatever the title was those days) how people got jobs with IBM. The VP put his staff into hyperdrive, in detailing how the company recruited at colleges, how many were hired from other sources, the nature of tests given to applicants, the types of people hired, starting salaries, and everything else that could be thought of.

Supported with voluminous flip charts and with assistants, the VP told Watson that he was ready to make the presentation. Watson replied, in effect:

"Never mind. I found out. My neighbor told me that his son wanted to get a job with IBM, and didn't know how to go about it".